Revenge
by swimmmmmer
Summary: This is about all of the Cullens pulling pranks on each other and getting revenge! Bella is a vamp... BxE
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of these characters ={**

**Please R&R!! Tell me if this is not good please because it will be worse if you don't tell me because more people will read it and it will be better if you just tell me =} Thank You!!! **

**EmPOV:**

"Hey, Rose, Jasper, Alice, Bella, come here!" I yelled. Edward had to hunt; he hadn't in almost two and a half weeks. I thought this might be the perfect time to get revenge on him for gluing all of my weights to the ground 3 days ago, which devastated me when I thought I was too weak to pick them up.

Edward's choice in music was classical, soft, la-la music. I personally did not understand how he could let that stuff float through his ears and into his brain. Well, this prank was about all of the music and songs Edward hated. Not that I particularly liked all of the songs I had in mind, but I'm sure they would drive him mad.

"Okay. I know I'm not the only one that wants revenge on Edward for doing something to them that they didn't like. Rose, you haven't gotten him back for cutting the ends of your hair off last week, have you?" She let a growl slide through her clenched teeth. "Or Alice, when he smeared your make-up all over your Juicy jacket. Okay, I helped with that, but still." I saw when she shot me an evil glare.

Jasper was beaming. I could tell he was as eager about this as I was, and he didn't have any idea what we were doing yet. Bella sat with wide eyes, and it was obvious that she didn't want any part in this. "You know, Bella, if you don't help us with this, we are just going to do something even worse. I promise you, in helping us do this, Edward won't be physically in pain." I smiled, imagining Edward anchored to a chair, covering his ears, though we all knew that wouldn't help. "But it will be very, very funny."

I explained to them what we were doing. Right when Edward comes home from hunting, Alice will chain him to the couch in the living room. Then we will start the show. We will be dancing a bit, too, knowing he wouldn't like that, either. I had to admit, though, that he would probably laugh, because it _was_ pretty funny.

We practiced twice, knowing we wouldn't need any more than that. Alice saw Edward coming home in 3 minutes and 42 seconds, so we all got into positions and thought of a blank wall so that Edward wouldn't know what we were doing. I grinned in anticipation.

**EdPOV:**

Uhgg… I only found one mountain lion when I went hunting, and a few deer. Not my favorite, but it'll have to do. I was running home now, going at full speed so that I could be with my Bella sooner. As I got closer and closer to the house, though, I saw 4 blank walls in my mind. Oh, no. Emmett, Rose, Jasper, and Alice were up to something, something that they didn't want me to know about.

As the house came into view, I could hear Carlisle as he thought about a patient he had worked with today at the hospital. Esme was in the garden planting more tulips in her beloved flowerbed. I couldn't hear any other movements, and I still saw the 4 blank walls. Then what was Bella doing? I should be able to hear what she is doing, though I couldn't hear her thoughts, but I heard nothing.

I became more suspicious as I got towards the big, white door to our home, so I slowed as I opened it, trying to hear anything from my brothers and sisters. Slowing was not the best idea I ever had. I was tackled into the couch and in the same milli-second, was chained down with tons of chains. I heard Alice whisper in an evil voice as she ran from the room, "Enjoy the show."

Then I saw Emmett at the top of the staircase, talking to Rose. "Whatcha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside yo trunk?" Oh, no. No, no, no. I absolutely despised this song, and I could see it wasn't going to get better.

Rose answered as she made her way down the staircase, "I'm a get, get, get, get you drunk, get you love drunk off my hump. My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. Check it out!" She swung her butt in Emmett's direction.

Then I heard Alice enter from the kitchen, and I looked to see her sagging some camouflage cargo pants with a matching jacket, big, white sunglasses, and HUGE hoop earrings. "Soulja boy off in this OH! Watch me crank it, watch me ROLL! Watch me crank that soulja boy that superman that hoe. Now watch me YOU! Crank that soulja boy!" She was even doing the dance to the song, and if it was possible, adding some grace to it. Little tiny Alice is going gangster on me.

I heard a noise in the living room, on the other couch. I snapped my head in that direction, and immediately regretted it. Jasper was lying on the couch in one of Alice's silky, frilly nightgowns, and that was NOT something I needed to see.

"I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me." As he reached for me, I looked away, and if I could have blushed, I would have. "I still feel your touch in my dreams. Forgive me my weakness but I don't know why. Without you it's hard to survive!" He dramatically draped his arm across his forehead like a drama queen.

I heard Esme join Carlisle at the foot of the stairs, where he was practically on the floor laughing. I guess he had been there the entire time. Esme was very confused when she saw what was going on. When she saw Jasper and his outfit, her thoughts were full of aimless questions, not really aimed at me.

_Oh, My! Jasper, what is he wearing??!!? Is that…Alice's lingerie??? Oh my!_

I'm sure Jasper himself could sense the confusion coming from her, and the hysteria coming from Carlisle. I glanced back at Carlisle to see him clutching his stomach, he was laughing so hard. With that, I had to laugh, too.

Alice and Rose marched in with white go-go boots on and dresses that resembled the English flag. I hadn't even noticed them leave the room.

(Alice) "Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want!"

(Rose) "So, tell me what you want, what you really, really want!"

(Both) "I wanna, I wanna, I wanna…"

Emmett interrupted them mid-song to switch it to another song on my top 5 least favorites. "I wanna love you (love you) you already know, I wanna love you (love you)! You already know, girl!" Then Jasper joined Emmett in the torturing of my ears. Luckily he decided to change into some decent, although gangster, clothes.

"Smack that, out on the floor! Smack that, give me some more! Smack that, till you get sore! Smack that, Ohhhhhh!" Great. They got the number one song on my All-Time Top Worst Songs Ever list. They had started to smack Rosalie and Alice's butts as they sang.

Then, Bella walked in, walking between Rose and Emmett, and Jasper and Alice. As she did so, Emmett and Jasper turned to her and both smacked her in the butt at the same time. Bella didn't even seem fazed, and as she came up to me, only to turn around and walk back, I saw that the back of her shorts said Smack That.

Wow.

My sweet, little, shy Bella, wearing Smack That shorts. I got a weird feeling, and I suddenly realized that _I _wanted to smack that. Oh my god, what was I thinking. Bella strutted from the room, looking more like she was on a runway than in my living room. What had I done to deserve someone so beautiful? Even when she was human, as she tripped over a flat surface, she was the most beautiful person I had ever seen.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry it took me so so so long to update!!! I hope you guys don't hate me… Please R&R and tell me what you think and some ideas for what Edward could do to the others…

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or the characters, or Edward :..( They all belong to Stephanie Meyer, that lucky person.

BPOV

Oh my gosh. That was _so_ embarrassing!!! And of course I couldn't resist their pleads for me to follow through, could I?? They outnumbered me by 4. I wish I was the one who had the mind reading ability so I could see what Edward was thinking. When I strutted through that room, I could see the confusion on his face. That was definitely_ not _something that I would go around doing on a daily basis.

As I thought about what Edward could have possibly been thinking, I flew upstairs in my effort to change out of my smack that shorts. Who would've thought little ol' me would wear smack that shorts. Only for Edward. I sighed, thinking about his glorious face, that sweet scent that flowed off of him in endless amounts, and the way I felt when he kissed me with the strongest passion imaginable…

_Ouch!!_

I whirled around to find myself swooped up in Edward's arms, right after he had whacked me in the butt. Of course it didn't hurt, he would never do anything that would hurt me in the slightest bit, but the surprise caused my reaction.

"Sorry, love," He said as his lips caressed my jaw line. "Your shorts gave me an open invitation that was too hard to resist." I could feel his lips form a smile as they made their way to my own. We kissed for a moment, but he pulled away.

"Now, could you please tell me what that was all about?" I knew he probably knew why the others did this, because their minds were open to Edward's ability as if they were speaking directly to him. I decided to tell him, anyway.

"They all wanted to get back at you for pranking them in the past. Oh, and by the way… You do know that you will never again cut off anyone's hair, whether it's Rosalie or me or Alice. That is something that you just don't…"

He cut me off mid-sentence to sweet me off my feet – literally – and carry me to the gold couch in his room.

"I know why they did it, I was just curious as to what I did wrong to you to make you feel like you need revenge on me." He kept his face composed, but I could see the burning curiosity in his eyes.

"Edward, you didn't do anything wrong. In fact, you do everything just right, always. But they threatened to do something that would physically hurt you more than just your ears."

With this, he laughed, and I was so confused for the reason as I turned around towards the doorway to see if someone there might have done something funny. There was no one there, so my confusion deepened, and I narrowed my eyebrows at the still laughing Edward.

"I can take care of my self love. They could never do something that would hurt me, whether they wanted to or not," he replied when he had composed himself again. My eyebrows narrowed further as the curiosity raged further at his unexplained laughter.

"Why is that funny?" I asked him.

"I'm sorry, it really wasn't that funny, but the look of protection that came over your face was a bit too comical to not laugh at." He chuckled again, and the crease between my eyebrows was joined with a frown.

"Why is that funny?" I repeated the same question, still not understanding in the least.

"Love, you are still breakable to me, whether you are a vampire or not. Thinking about you protecting me from Emmett is… kind of scary actually. But I know he would never hurt you, so it was funny."

He smiled the crooked smile that I loved, and his eyes burned into mine. He leaned closer, and I automatically leaned closer, too. I inhaled, taking in the scent that flowed from him, and his lips locked on my ferociously. My hands reached up to grab his hair and pull him closer to me, our bodies locking together inseparably. He leaned over me, laying me down on the couch, our lips never parting. His body crushed mine, and I could feel his marble skin on mine.

I had to pull away to get a breath, not that I would die without one, but he seemed to be breathing heavier than normal, too. We sat there, foreheads together, panting, a smile on each of our lips. He wrapped one arm around me, and the other arm stroked my hair. "Bella…" He whispered, crushing his lips to mine yet again.

I was quite content with the fact that, ever since I became a vampire, we didn't need to be so careful with each other. I clutched him to myself as my lips found his cheek; his, my ear. When I slowly opened my eyes, I saw Alice silently laughing her pixie like head off in the doorway.

"ALICE!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screeched. Edward's head jerked in her direction; he was clearly not paying attention to her thoughts. A growl bubbled deep in his chest, and Alice bolted from the door. I clutched Edward to myself, unwilling to let him go.

"Deal with it later," I whispered, trying to be seductive. He turned back to me our lips locked again.

**Please R&R or I won't continue!!!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters… so sad…

**Sorry this chapter took forever… I have school and swim practice, so sorry it wasn't up faster!**

**APOV**

Where is my credit card??? I swear I put it on my bedside table, but it seems to have been misplaced… by someone else, I think… And I didn't even see it coming!!! Ugh, blind spots are_ so frustrating! _I had already asked Jasper if he needed it for an emergency, but I would know if there wasn't an emergency. Either way, he told me it wasn't him, and I trust that.

Maybe Rose needed a quick trip to the Seattle mall… No, she had her own credit cards. Esme and Carlisle wouldn't think of taking it without permission, though they, too, had their own. HA! I snorted when I thought of Bella as a suspect. Like she would need a credit card. She hates shopping… So weird… And Emmett had his own… Emmett. UGGH! Emmett I'm _sure_ is behind this!! He was always one for the pranks…

Oh. Pranks. _Duh Alice!!_ I thought to myself. We had just tortured Edward's ears. Prank. And now he probably took my credit card as revenge. Wow, how did I not see that coming!! Oh he was going to be very upset with his decision… _No one_ takes my credit cards behind my back!!

I marched up the stairs, intent on kicking Edward's butt. But I heard heavy breathing coming from their room.

_Oh God, do I want to know what they are doing?_

I was going to knock before I went in, just in case… but I turned the corner and the door was open. Nice job, guys.

Their clothes were on, thank God. But they were in the middle of a very heated make-out session, and I felt rude for intruding. This was too funny to not watch, though.

"Bella…" Edward gasped when they weren't tongue wrestling. She just went at it again, letting her lips slight to his cheek. I became aware then that I was laughing so hard so that it was silent, and even a vampire with super hearing (like me:]) couldn't even hear me. I would have expected Edward to hear my hysterical thoughts by then, but no, no. He was much too intent on _Bella, Bella, Bella. _

"ALICE!" Bella screeched then, interrupting my reverie. Oh, no. Edward's ferocious growl and death glare mixture came to me only a second before it really happened. I turned and sprinted down the stairs as fast as I could while giggling as I ran. Luckily, Bella had held Edward where he was so he couldn't pounce.

I made my way out the front door and into Jaspers confused arms. He pulled me back to look at me, quivering with laughter, and I immediately felt myself calm down.

"Thanks" I said when I could speak.

"What was all that?" He asked. I didn't need his special power to feel the curiosity and confusion in his voice.

"You know how my credit card went missing? Well I went to see if Edward took it, you know, because of the whole song prank, and he and Bella were busy not getting enough of each other, and they caught me watching and laughing." I giggled again as I repeated this.

Jasper's face was horrified, and I realized why. "Just kissing!!! God, Jasper, I wouldn't watch _that!_"

He was immediately relieved, and I laughed, yet again, as his features changed. Oh, yea, the dang credit card.

"I still don't know where my credit card is!" I yelled, exasperated. "Ugh!" I groaned as I let myself become limp and fall theatrically, over exaggerating it. Jasper's arms caught me just before I hit the ground.

I smiled at him. "Thank you, hero," I said as I pecked him on the cheek. If only he could find my credit card, he would be my superhero. Of course he already was, but I really needed that credit card!! Emmett is my only suspect, I am way overdo for a shopping trip…

And then inspiration hit me. Oh, this would be good, I though mischievously.

EdPOV

Leave it to Alice to ruin a beautiful moment! Well, then again, Emmett would have made it worse. But that doesn't give Alice the "OK" to come into the picture!!

Bella and I headed downstairs, and I could tell she knew I was still angry with Alice. I was. But I knew how much Bella hated it when we argued, so I would try to handle this nicely.

I heard, from outside, Alice explaining to Jasper what had happened. She said that she was looking for her credit card… Oh. That's why she came upstairs. I had thought it was just to spy on Bella and I, though I don't know why she would want to do that… This reason made more sense. I guess I was too distracted earlier to hear her thoughts…

Bella and I went out to the backyard, where Esme was, once again, working on her garden. Emmett was out in the distance, back to us, shoving something in his pocket and laughing.

_Alice will be so pissed!_ _Ha! This is going to be hilarious!_

Emmett was the one with Alice's credit card. Thanks so much, Emmett, for causing the stopping of my Bella time. Emmett dashed off into the trees with Alice's credit card intact.

"Why did Alice happen to come into our room when we wanted privacy?" Bella asked.

"She was looking for her credit card, and she thought maybe I had taken it because of your little music show earlier today. And, we accidentally left the door wide open, so we can't really blame her for seeing… Just for staying and watching."

"Oh… I wonder who took her credit card… They better watch out, because you know how Alice gets when her money goes missing…" Yes, I did know. This is not a first, and she would explode on the person who took it. Oh yea, Emmett.

"Emmett took it. He was just stuffing it in his pocket, and he ran off somewhere…"

We went to go back inside and found Alice and Jasper entering from the other direction. Alice looked frustrated, but when she saw us, her face lit up and she giggled again, and a stream of apologies came from her mouth. Her mind however, was full of various teases like _You too were all over each other!! _and _Dude, the phrase 'get a room' includes closing the door!!_ I shot her eye-bullets until the "Sorry's" came from her mind, too.

"Looking for something, Alice?" I questioned her.

"You took it, didn't you? Give it back. _Now._" She said, her teeth glinting in the lamplight. I had to laugh at her accusation.

"Alice, I didn't take it, but I have an idea of who might have," I said as I smiled innocently at her.

"Who took it?!?" She growled. I wasn't planning on telling her, but she looked so vicious that I decided Emmett was the one who deserved that rather than myself.

"Emmett did, and he dashed out into the forest. I don't know what he is going to do with it, though…"

Alice was already out the back door and into the woods. A few seconds later, we heard Emmett scream at the top of his lungs and then yell, "OW! ALICE STOP! I'M_ SORRY! _STOP!!_ ALICE!!_"


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys!! I'm sososo sorry I haven't updated in like forever plus a BILLION years!! Wow it's been a long time… anyway I've been super busy with school, swim, homework… the usual… Any way I hope you guys like this chapter and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!

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RosePOV

Oh my God! Emmett is hurt! I can hear him, he's yelling, and he's hurt! HE'S HURT! Oh my God! Is Alice doing this?? Oh my God, she will die. I sprinted toward the door to my room, watching as the dresser flew by, then the closet, the bed, the mirror, the… _Damn, I look Hot!! _Oh wait, Emmett…

"Ow! Alice, get that away from me, PLEASE!!" I heard Emmett scream as I followed his voice toward the forest and through the greens of Forks. I finally found them, Emmett's arms were wrapped around a tree the wrong way, so that his back were to the tree (YOUCH!) and Alice had tied him there while she drew lipstick all over his face. Even I had to admit, he looked hilarious.

I saw Edward laughing on the opposite side of the tree as me, and Bella trying her best not to crack a smile. Now, I knew this was so funny, but they weren't doing anything about it! I sent Edward some death threats through my thoughts, and I could see his face change and he helped me get Alice away from Emmett.

When Emmett was finally out of his contorted position, he looked all the more funny with his lower lip pouting out and the lipstick giving him a clown smile. He had polka-dots on his forehead, and stripes on his neck. I giggled.

He sent a full on puppy dog face my direction, and I immediately regretted giggling. "Awww baby I'm sorry!!" I said and went over to kiss him. "Let's go back home and get that stuff off of you." Alice grumbled to herself about stealing her money, and we all headed home.

When we stepped inside, Emmett and I headed into the bathroom to clean all of the hot pink lipstick off of him. As we sat there, I asked him why he took Alice's credit card in the first place. We all knew there would be consequences for anyone who dared even touch it, and let it be known that Emmett be the first person to follow through.

"Well it was sitting right there, and I couldn't _not_ grab it!" He said it like it was an obvious thing to physically not be able to take Alice's credit card.

"Um, Emmett? I think the rest of the people in this house would have been able to resist." I said as nicely as I could. I received an 'excuse me? Are you stupid?' look with one raised eyebrow back from him.

"I guess you just don't have the strength to stay out of trouble." I said to him. As soon as I said that he didn't have the strength, I saw that his arm muscle twitched, and his calf muscle flex. I laughed. "I'm just kiddin, honey!"

Later, when we walked back outside, Esme was planting some white lilies in her beloved flowerbed. White lilies are Bella's favorite, and as soon as I thought it, Edward was outside asking Esme if he could have some. Bella was upstairs with Alice, getting some fashion lessons, so Edward wanted to surprise her.

I decided to go check in on those two and see if Alice had made any progress. Most likely not. I went upstairs and to Bella's closet (when Bella moved in, Alice was sure to stock her up). Bella had a bored look on her face, and I didn't need Jasper's power to sense the frustration coming from Alice.

"When you wear a plain t-shirt, you need to spice it up with a colorful belt or big handbag to balance the regular-ness of the shirt." Alice said.

"Why can't I just wear a plain shirt? I don't like standing out!" Bella said back.

Alice through her head back and looked at the ceiling while saying in a "uh…duh?" voice, "Bella, honey. You know I love you the way you are, and I would never ask you to change, but… please change. Just your fashion sense. Please!!!!!" She got onto her knees and started to beg while Bella rolled her eyes.

"Get up off the floor, you spaz. Maybe I'll try to improve a little if you stop that." I giggled a little at the sight of them, and they finally noticed me standing there, leaning casually in the doorway. I promised Alice to try to help Bella express herself a little bit better.

EdPOV

I asked Esme if I could have a few of her lilies. They were Bella's favorite, and, although she forgot, tomorrow is her 29th birthday. I think I am the only one to remember. That is, until I heard Esme's thoughts.

_Are those for her special day, dear? _She asked me through her thoughts so Bella wouldn't hear. I nodded. _Did you get her anything else? Those flowers won't last too long._ I nodded and pulled the bracelet out of my pocket. It was the same bracelet that Jacob had given her about 11 years ago, and I had added on a diamond heart. She lost it when she was changed, and I found it recently far out into the forest.

_Oh! Where did you find it?_ Esme asked, a huge smile on her face. _She'll be so happy! _I smiled and nodded back in agreement. Bella misses Jacob, and our daughter, Renesmee. They both went off to a boarding school in southern California, where they could both be together. Renesmee didn't sparkle in the sun, so she was free to live the sunny SoCal life.

We both missed her so much. We hadn't seen her in about a year and a half, but they were coming to visit soon. And I know Bella still loves Jacob, but as a brother or son-in-law, nothing more. She had assured me of that long ago, and I believe her.

_Ok, honey. I know she'll appreciate it so much,_ Esme smiled to me. I smiled back, appreciative of her kindness.

I ran out to our meadow as quick as I could so Bella wouldn't know I was gone. When I got there, I put the lilies in the crystal vase that was already sitting on a small table. The table was covered in a sheer, white tablecloth, and her name was embroidered on the bottom: Bella. There were twinkling lights hanging around on the trees, and tomorrow night, it would be a romantic place for Bella and I to spend the evening. I hoped she'll like it…

APOV

I hope Bella figures out sooner or later that appearance does in fact matter. Don't get me wrong; I'm not that shallow, what's inside does matter, but nobody is going to want to approach you if you have dirt on your face, knots in your hair, and smelly clothes! All right, Bella is not as bad as I just explained. But still, plain T's and jeans? EVERY DAY?? Come on, now, Bells, you can do better. If only she would try.

Jasper came upstairs then, and when I saw his beautiful face, my Bella fashion worries went away. I skipped over to him and gazed into the beautiful golden eyes that he has (ok, I do to, but his are the best out of everyone in this house).

"Hi." I said pleasantly.

"Hi." He answered back with a smile. "How was your fashion lesson?"

Oh, brother. "Well, she said she is going to try to snazzy it up a bit. But hey, she's Bella, snazzy could be a barrette in her hair. Who knows…", I sighed.

"That's ok. You'll always be little miss fashion queen, and I'll always be loving every bit of it." Aww, he really knew how to cheer me up.

"I love you." I said while standing up on my tip-toes and giving him an Eskimo kiss with my nose.

"I love you, fashion queen. Always and forever."

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Hey guys! I hope you liked this chapter… And again I'm soooo sorry for taking SO LONG to update! Its just been such a busy time… anyways, review review review!!


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